Kareoke will never be a sober sport
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
