I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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