I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
