i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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