a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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