I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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