I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
