i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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