She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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