i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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