ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
