Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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