Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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