I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
