They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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