I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
