I'm drive I can fine osifer
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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