If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
