Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
