the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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