Moan for me like Helen Keller
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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