did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
