i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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