If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
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