Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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