Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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