i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
