Can Purell be used as lube?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She told me I should be a condom model.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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