I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
