This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
