There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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