Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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