There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌