well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.