my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
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Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating