Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
