She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
