Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize