I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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