A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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