she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
