dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
