Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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