I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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