i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
