You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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