i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
