I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
