i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
