i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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