I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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