I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
