If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
