Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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