Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
