I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He felt like a one man threesome
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
