Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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