I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize