even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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