was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I want a musical about memes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
