dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
