no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
