I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
