Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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