Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
