hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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