All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
