He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
