There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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